i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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