Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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