Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
