And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
