In the future we'll all be gay
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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