what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
