just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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