Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Bring me that man meat
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
