just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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