Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I want is dick and wine.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
