i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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