i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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