Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
