So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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