My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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