He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
