it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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