my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
