The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
