just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
