he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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