How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
