So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
