You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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