...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
