Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize