at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
