Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
