false alarm. still invincible.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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