yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
