I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
