So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize