so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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