I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
