umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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