She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
