i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
