I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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