I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
