You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
two words...techno handjob
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
