if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
