either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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