do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
