please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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