The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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