Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
