do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
