She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
