a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
