They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
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