could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
