so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
