wanna go halves on a baby?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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