I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have already put on my inside pants.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
