I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
