Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
