I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize